While a more empathetic world would undoubtedly be better, it's important to understand what empathy truly is and whether it can be built quickly. But before diving into empathy, let's first clarify its often misunderstood cousin: sympathy.

Sympathy and Empathy: Definitions and Concepts

Sympathy is the ability to feel the pain and suffering of others, whether humans, animals, or even fictional characters. It's an emotional response where you share someone else's sorrow but may not fully understand their specific experience or circumstances.

Empathy, on the other hand, goes beyond just feeling. It involves understanding the emotions, moods, or mental states of others. Empathy allows you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, grasp their perspective, and truly comprehend their feelings, whether they are happy or sad.

Lets look at an example:

• A: Has never been fired.

• B: Just made redundant.

• C: Was made redundant in the last job two years ago.

In this scenario, C can empathize with B because they have gone through a similar experience. A can only sympathize with B, feeling sorry for them but not fully understanding their situation.

Historical Background

• Sympathy has been used in psychology for the past 500-600 years, derived from the Greek word pathos, meaning suffering or feelings.

• Empathy also comes from pathos but gained prominence around 150 years ago.

Key Differences

1. Sympathy: Requires someone to be in pain. You feel sorry for someone without truly understanding their situation.

2. Empathy: Involves understanding emotions, not necessarily tied to suffering. You can empathize with someone's joy as well. Empathy is deeper and more comprehensive.

LEVELS:

Sympathy can have 2 levels:

1. Emotional Sympathy: Feeling sorry for others.

2. Compassionate Sympathy: Feeling compelled to help them reduce their misery.

Daniel Goleman's 3 Levels of Empathy:

1. Cognitive Empathy: Understanding someone's mood or mental state.

2. Emotive Empathy: Feeling what the other person feels.

3. Compassionate Empathy: Taking action to help based on your empathetic understanding.

Sympathy Without Empathy

Feeling sorry for someone without truly understanding their situation. For example, feeling bad for someone reprimanded for poor work while you dont know them well.

Empathy Without Sympathy

Understanding someone's emotions & mental state without feeling their pain. This can lead to #CompassionFatigue, especially in roles like HR where employees regularly share their sufferings.

To be truly empathetic, you need to:

• Have faced a similar situation in the past.

• Or have the skill of perspective-taking to understand another person's mental state. 

Workplace Implications

• It's unlikely in a professional setting that two people become so close that there is no gap between the suffering of one and the other.

• Too much empathy at the workplace can result in favoritism and affect objective decision-making.

• It's also unlikely that you have gone through the same experience as a colleague, making it hard to fully understand their situation.

• Therefore, a better idea is to focus on building Perspective Taking skills. More on #PerspectiveTaking skills later.