When we meet someone new at work, we might think that trust will simply grow over time as we collaborate. But there are intentional steps we can take to build trust faster, forming a genuine connection from the start. Here’s a framework designed to break trust-building down into actionable steps, helping you create a meaningful bond with your new colleague.

Step 1: Similarity Bias – Find Common Interests

Action: During your first few interactions, look for areas of common interest. Ask questions about their hobbies, favorite shows, music, or even preferred vacation spots. You could say, “What do you like to do outside of work?” or “Have you watched any good shows lately?”

Why it works: People naturally connect with those who share similar interests. Talking about these topics creates mutual positive regard. For example, if you both enjoy hiking, you might exchange stories of favorite trails, which can lead to a deeper connection. Small moments like this make your colleague feel more comfortable and open to further conversations.

Step 2: Sympathy – Listen Actively and Without Judgment

Action:When your colleague shares something with you, try listening actively. Give them your full attention, nod, and show interest by asking follow-up questions. Avoid the urge to judge or jump in with your perspective right away. Instead, try saying, “That sounds like a tough situation; I can see why you’d feel that way.”

Why it works: Listening without judgment shows that you’re genuinely interested in their experience. It creates a safe environment for them to open up and builds rapport. When people feel they can talk to you without fear of judgment, they’re more likely to trust you with bigger, more personal thoughts over time.

Step 3: Empathy – Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Action:Try to understand what your colleague is going through by imagining yourself in their situation. If they’re stressed about a deadline, you might say, “I’d be feeling overwhelmed if I were handling that deadline too. How can I help?”

Why it works: Empathy goes beyond sympathy. It involves actively putting yourself in their shoes, which makes people feel seen and understood. Empathy helps deepen the connection, showing that you care about their feelings. When colleagues sense that you understand and care, they feel safer being vulnerable around you, building a deeper level of trust.

Step 4 : In-Group Favoritism – Foster a Willingness to Help

Action:Look for opportunities to help your colleague in small ways, whether it’s sharing a useful resource, offering a hand with a project, or simply being a sounding board. Say something like, “If you need an extra pair of hands with that project, let me know. I’m here to help!”

Why it works: Helping each other creates a sense of belonging, reinforcing trust. You’re creating an “in-group” feeling where you’re both part of a supportive, mutually beneficial relationship. When your colleague feels supported, they’re more likely to want to help you in return, further strengthening the connection.

Step 5: Reciprocity Bias – Create a Cycle of Support

Action:When your colleague returns the favor, make a habit of keeping the cycle going. For example, if they helped you with a task, find a way to help them in return. A simple “Thanks for your help earlier; let me know if I can support you with anything!” keeps the loop going.

Why it works: Reciprocity is a powerful tool for deepening trust. When people help each other repeatedly, they feel a growing sense of commitment and reliability. This cycle of support gives rise to more opportunities to talk, collaborate, and share experiences, making trust feel natural and unforced.

Key Insight: Frequent, Unplanned Conversations Build Trust

Don’t underestimate the power of small, unplanned interactions — the hallway chats, coffee breaks, or quick check-ins on a shared project. These spontaneous moments allow for organic conversations where you can share more about yourselves and learn about each other’s personalities. You’re not just discussing work but building familiarity, which is essential for trust.

Trust is a process, and while it can take time, these actions can help speed it up and make it feel genuine. Be intentional, be curious, and show authentic empathy. Trust grows out of these moments, and by following these steps, you’re setting the stage for a meaningful and reliable relationship with your new colleague.